Another Year Has Gone By

The holiday jingles are sounding on the radio and the crisp air is arriving. It's definitely that time of year where people love it or love to hate it. I can't quite put my finger on it but for some reason I want to be happy about the holidays but I dread it at the same time. Maybe it's because of my father and father-in-law's passing away over a year ago and my heart still aches for their loss, maybe it's bringing back the strong reminder of how tough holidays are with tight finances, or could it possibly be dreading work every day with the chance of having another encounter with a boss unlike any other boss I've ever had and the two week vacation can't come fast enough. Whatever the reason might be, I want to approach this holiday season happier than a year ago. I want to enjoy, to stop and smell the roses. So much happens in a year's time, reflecting on the past year, not much has changed for me.

There's a nudging feeling that something's missing in my life. I spend too much time invested in my work. With a demanding administrator, I want to please her by doing a good job but it's taking time away from my spouse and personal life. I've also found that I have no real hobbies (no, Facebook doesn't count). Work is my life. Growing up, reading was everything to me. Now, I dread starting a new book. Have I lost the passion for reading? I don't know. Maybe it's the thought that there's something else I need to be doing. I love my students but I need to do something I enjoy besides spending massive amounts of time preparing the mandatory things for my job (not mandatory by my choice). Cooking...there's no chance in finding a hobby in something I dread and will find any excuse in the book not to do. Dancing, I love it but it wouldn't work with my work schedule and most places charge too much. I've tried to think of many other possibilities such as board games/card game groups, hiking, biking, sports teams.....none of these things excite me. Is my life really that boring? Hopefully before the next year passes, I can pinpoint what's missing.